Everyday is Something Different

My pain has been a gradual onset. My body has been testing as inflamed since I was in my early 20's. The doctors told me it was in my head, it was my diet, they did testing and found nothing. I was told not to worry about it. It turns out this inflammation was a connective tissue disorder that may have a genetic component. It may have been triggered when I was 6 years old and in a car accident. My GP never knew or understood enough to dive this deep into my issues. It was "alternative medicine" that helped me understand what was happenening enough tobe able to approach a new doctor. This time it was enough for a proper diagnosis. This dis-order of connective tissue pulls on my joints, creating more pain and subluxations of my spine. It pulls and tightens its grip on my muscles and compresses and ignites my pain receptors. I also have some nerve damage and after a few accidents over the years, it has all added up.

Now, 30 years later, every day is something different. I never know how much pain I will be in at any given time of the day, how limited my movement will be and what part of my body will ache. Some days its everything, including my hair that hurts, and other days I feel like I have won the health lottery and get things done! I have run the gauntlet on the pain scale several times a day. After weeks of being like this, the constant pain, even at a lower level, breaks me for a bit and I slide into a pity party for one. I have learned these pity parties are important to acknowledge and necessary to have. I have learned to embrace them and then pick myself up again, and continue. That is a luxuary some people don't get. Some days my pain effects my wife more than me as she has to deal with me being in pain and her inability to help me feel better. It is a feeling of helplessness.

I have tried physical therapy, and as a retired medical massage therapist, I would help people just like me. Unfortunately, what did help me, no longer does. I can't even lay on the massage table for more than 5 minutes now. Chiropractic adjustments don't last more that a few hours. I understand the pain cycle and how pain receptors work, and yet not much I do makes any difference. I have found THC/CBD cream does help with muscle pain for me. It has little effect on my nerve pain. I am not at the point of taking it internally, too stubborn, and maybe waiting for the pain to be even worse and I really can't afford it. I rather wish insurance companies would be more open to having this covered. Traditional medication, opioids, and physiotherapy do not work for me, but that is all that is really covered for my plan. THC and CBD would cost a lot less then prescriptions! Medications are way over priced. For those who do not have health insurance, what the province covers is not enough anymore. Health care needs a rethink, because it can't just be for acute care, it needs to address chronic care needs.

There needs to be a fundamental understanding that there is no "one-fits-all" treatment for pain. Pain is subjective and pain management is costly. While mobility and range of motion can be quantified, pain cannot be.

It is hard for me to work in a traditional job because I don't know what I will feel that day. I can't stand for long, can't sit for long. Every cement floor in every retail store sends me into spasm and pain in 15 minutes. I can't find work because it all leads to more pain. I don't qualify for disability, and I have no family doctor. There are hundreds and thousands of people like me in this country.

We expect our health care system to help us, but the system does not address our needs. In reality, our heal care system should only be a part of our health care tools, but the other tools we need don't exist or we can not afford them, so we have to rely on the inadequate existing system. That is what needs to be addresssed in my opinion.