Living in pain keeping me from living *trigger warnings-suicide discussed*

I live with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, however that title is so misleading as fatigue is only the tip of the iceberg. I live with constant pain in my joints, muscles and around my mid section that feels like barbed wire being pulled tight digging into my flesh as well as debilitating migraines that leave me fantasizing about ending my life in order to end the pain (graphic but my daily reality). Along with the pain I deal with Cognitive issues, flu like symptoms, gastrointestinal issues, and irregular heartbeat, dizziness, skin symptoms, light and sound sensitivity.

One day last December the pain was so unbearable I took an entire bottle of extra strength tylenol in the hopes of stopping the pain, not because I want to end my life, but because I literally am housebound and bedbound from blinding pain and I wish I could live as others live without this pain. This was after 6 month of telling my doctor that I can't do this anymore, that I need relief, this is after nearly 3 years of intense illness and pain, illness and pain that has caused me to lose my career, my friends, and my identity. I nearly died. I attempted to end the pain and nearly died, and despite nearly ending my life in a desperate effort to stop the pain, and discussing this in length with my doctor I am still without adequate pain control, I am still suffering with massive amounts of pain, I have no more answers or help to gain a better quality of life. I was given a counselor to talk about my mental health and depression, but I'm not depressed, sure I get down, but I'm in pain and exhausted, that would get anyone down. I'm happy to do whatever it takes and I take mental health seriously, I'm in no way downplaying mental health issues, but in order for me to have good mental health we need to address the root of the issue, my pain, what is causing the pain and ways to treat what is causing the pain. Until treatment is available for what I have I at least need pain control to give me some quality of life and to help me become a useful member of society again.